How I met the "Three Idiots" of my life..

One of my very few pleasant dreams, one that I will cherish for the rest of my life... for that was one dream that came true for me. A gang of 4 very close friends, one a singer, one a poet, one my dearest brother, and then there was me. I had this dream thrice; though it left me with a pleasant feeling, I used to laugh at it. This may happen in Utopia, I thought. I had once said the last thing I would ever do was stay away from home. Fate was such that I had to join hostel for my UG studies. I was initially intimidated about this fact. I was always surrounded by people whom I love, who pamper me. To manage and cope up with Life away from home seemed like a mammoth task to me.

My first day @ SASTRA University. I chose to sit in one corner of the class (because I have trouble starting a conversation). One biiiig jabber mouth came and sat next to me. Hi, my name's Saai Lakshmi... kachar kachar kachar... I thought I was going to bleed out of my ears! The gal would not shut up!!! She kept talking throughout the class. What nonsense, I thought. Then the first attendance of my college. Sivasubramanian... as the name was called, a huge thing at the other end of the class croaked, Present Sir! Ewww.. What is he? A huge toad or a sack of something or Humpty Dumpty?? My first FORTRAN (computer) lab... There he was, Abhinay Ramaprasad, asking me this and that...: P I felt like saying to him, "I am new to this lab too, kid. How would I know??” The next day, I changed my place and sat away from that jabber mouth. I begun to give cold stares at Humpty Dumpty as he was taking all the fame and made me feel less important in Math class (how childish of me!!). I gave replies only when asked to the fellow who could only ask me questions. Things were just the same, time passed on.

I noticed that Jabber mouth was always homesick and crying. I once offered to help her, and there she was, walking all the way back to the hostel, jabbering away to glory. I thought, "oh my god! What have I gotten myself into??” Well, things changed after that. She moved into the hostel. I kept going over to her room to check whether she was ok. I felt an overwhelming urge to protect her (from God only knows what), have fun with her, listen to her jabbering (: O: O)... just hang around. The person I am, only listening to others' troubles and views and not sharing my own, I first felt like sharing it with her. And suddenly all her jabberwocky took a transition from intolerable to interesting and fun. I had this feeling that we've known each other since long. One fine day, as I walked along the corridor towards her room, I heard a magical, melodious voice. Wait... It can't be... But, yes it was!! There she was... singing away to glory. Encore!!! We all said when she was done with her song. A talented female with an innate talent for singing... Interesting! Time passed, we grew into thick friends. I still bug the hell out of her every day. It feels like I know her well, inside out. You may have all heard about sharing excellent vibes with people whom you love. This is true in Anu's case. Words were not necessary to express what she had in mind and vice versa. We always saw each others' naked face. The sign of true friendship. A special mention about our really long walks in the hostel lawn. Aimless as they were, they are till date a mandatory part of our everyday life. Talking, singing, joking, laughing, crying, scolding, even dead silence... eternal bliss, I would call it. Those moments in the lawn are incomparable and irreplaceable. And that is how a wonderful relationship evolved between the singer and me...

One rainy noon. I was sitting in Anu's(jabber mouth) room talking to her and texting my friends. That was when I got Abhinay's number. I planned to pull a prank on him. So begun our relationship, I must say. Mere texting for time pass evolved slowly into conversation between two friends. One day, when he was down and gloomy for having a tiff with his roommate, he called me (for the first time) and poured down all his worries. Under such circumstances, I usually wonder why any person would vent out their feelings to me. This time I felt, God, I must do something to make him feel better. We started sharing our views on everything under the sky. Without the least of efforts, and even our knowledge, we could share our raw thoughts without filtering them, mincing our words or even bothering about its after effects. We had absolutely no boundaries or barriers whatsoever. There were times when we stayed out of contact for weeks or days together. But, when it resumed, it still felt the same, without the least of strain. One of the handful of people with whom I can talk without the least of hesitation and qualms. We've had moments of happiness, and worse, loads of arguments. We would argue our heads off like we were never even going to look at each other again or one of us would drop dead by the end of the debate. Ironically enough, we would be laughing and talking as that moment of uneasiness and irritation never ever happened. For those who want to know what unconditional friendship is, I give you the example of Abhi and me. And for the very interesting part, Abhi shared his set of poems with me one day. I was flabbergasted. You've got to be kidding me, I thought. Two out of three characters in my dream... my close friends!!! :O

Well then, there was Siva. I don't know how, when and why it started. I've tried to reason out why I Love him so much, what was that spark that started it all up. For us, it felt like reviving a lost relationship, like we were linked forever. The simplest way to define me is call me a "mature child"... oxymoron. With Siva, I feel like a little kid. For every small issue, even for a tiny scratch that I had recently, I feel like running to him with tear filled eyes and puppy dog face for consolation. I feel like he was my long lost big brother. Like my friend quoted, "A brother by heart, not by blood". This is apt for my relationship with Siva. It’s like the stork was drunk while delivering babies through the chimney and we were dropped at different places. When I recline or think as I am lying down to sleep, I lose myself completely in fond memories of my childhood. My mind would involuntarily search for Siva. It is only when I come back from my dreamy state that I would realize he was never a part of my childhood. It feels so real now, that accepting the fact that we met here seems so unrealistic. An integral part of my life now... Right from waking me up in the morning to putting me to sleep in the night. He's filled the void that existed after I came away from my parents. Protective Father, affectionate mother, and ever loving brother... (Strict at times :( ) My little family package away from home. I never believed in Love without a reason or Love at first sight. Now, I am clear about the FACT that Love doesn't always happen with a gross reason. Words and thoughts gush and flow in with tremendous speed as I write about my dearest brother Siva. It is rather difficult to pen them down. If I were to put them in one single word, I would choose Happiness... bouncing around like an Easter Bunny. I never want to grow up with Siva. I forever want to remain his "little" bugger sister. (Sister, I always was and I Am... It’s the little part that I want to emphasize on).

When the four close friends sit on the benches in college and engross ourselves in pulling each others' leg, loads of laughter and tickle, I look at all this in amazement. A “dream come true”?? Is this what people call eternal Bliss? Am I still dreaming of my Utopia? There they are, fragments of my dream, sitting in front of me... Very much real, and bubbling with Life and Love. It brings an extra special smile on my lips... a reflection from the bottom of my Heart. This I dedicate to my dearest friends, one dearest brother and my crazy, weird dream.

PS: I am going to get back at the three of you for reading this blog of mine before completion, without my knowledge. X-(Nonsense!!!

Nostalgia... :')

I lay on my bed, staring out of the window, looking at the buildings and the dark starry sky. Right then, I was struck by multiple waves of emotions and intense thoughts. I decided to sit up and let my thoughts loose, just as Dumbledore saves them in his Pensieve. Well, my UG life will end in two weeks' time, so will my stay at this hostel. I felt like taking a walk down the memory lane, rewind Life and revisit those events which will forever remain etched.

Before my admissions into this college, I was intimidated about my stay in the hostel. I did not know how I would cope up to the changes in lifestyle, no more pampering and meeting a battalion of strangers. A week passed and the feel of staying in a hostel started to sink into my system. However, the feeling of being torn away from Home did not vanish that soon. I felt home sick quite occasionally, which is typical for anyone who first experiences a Life away from home. I met new people, I made friends,I stayed away from some, had minor tiffs with some, disliked some. Overall, this place has given me a hang of what the Real World would seem like. It taught me how to face the World as a "Single Man Army". A lot of us have had a lot of negative points to tell about our college and hostel. We've been pushed to the extent of cursing and swearing at certain rules and people. But look at us now.. We've lived through all the negatives. We are survivors.. this place has made us tough. Not only are we going to graduate as technocrats, but also as better and mature individuals. On a comparative scale, we've gained more than we've lost.

on a personal note, I have encountered a turmoil of emotions, characters and situations during my four year span at this place. My friends and well-wishers have made me strong, my enemies (if I may use that term without really meaning it) have made me stronger. It has taught me that liking or disliking a person is sheer prejudice, a fabrication of our mind. Most of us think that keeping good company helps us imbibe such good qualities. Do we really have nothing to learn from the so-called bad company? Well, think about it.. It has taught me what not to be and what not to do in Life. Is that not a valuable lesson too? Who cares if I dislike a person or that person dislikes me? I have hundreds who Love me for what I am, and who I am. When at home, we crib and throw tantrums at the slightest of discrepancies, be it in opinions, food, mannerisms, sleep-wake cycle etc. Here, we've learnt to cope up with average food, tolerating people, and sometimes, doing a lot of things against our will. This has taught me to appreciate even little things that happens at home and among family. I feel grateful for all that I have. I now have realized that even small happenings have a lot of significance in my Life.

I walk to the balcony and look at the lawn below. I see and hear ghosts of the past.. lot of laughter, smiles, silent moments, fights, discussions, confessions, rantings, tears, giggles, gossips.. what not? God! If only I could be given an opportunity to relive certain excerpts from my hostel Life. I'd miss rushing to college and making a crash landing to class twenty minutes late, the relief I feel to get back to hostel and recline on my bed, the 6:30 roll calls, endless talking and texting over phone. This place has brought people from places far and wide together. I feel a pang of sadness when I think that I may not see these friends of mine as freqently as I see them now. We'll part our ways, blend in with our busy schedules, some at work place, some at academic institutions, some into a new family and some idling away at home. I may move on and meet a lot of new, much more interesting people, but my heart will forever carry the memories of these people who've knowingly or unknowingly touched my life. We may meet again in a reunion, five or ten years down the line to share the path our lives have taken, to remember those little incidents that brought us together.

I sat down with my eyes closed, rewound my life for what it was four years back and played them over again in my mind. When I recovered from that I found a tear on my cheek and smile on my lips. Aah.. Nostalgia. The most wondrous feeling.. next only to Love and friendship. It gives one the opportunity to even remember his/her enemies. It is one feeling that allows you to even smile at the hardships you've faced and pitfalls you've had. It gives you a new energy and a feeling that we've already undergone all this and emerged a victor. We are competent enough to face any challenge that Life throws at us. A time to laugh hard at fights and arguments, and harder at funny and embarrassing moments. The times we cried would now seem silly, for we have evolved, become more mature and wise.

This place has shaped me into what I am now, earned me a degree, loads of experiences, and most of all, a wonderful set of friends. It has taught me to look at Life with a brighter and optimistic perspective. When I suddenly look at the college with the same eye, this place seems like Heaven to me!! When I leave this place, I would be college sick. I'll miss this place. A vaccuum will surround me until I learn to get over it and adjust to my next progress. Regardless of the journey I take, the heights I may reach, sweet, fond memories would still linger on...

I dedicate this post to my closest friends, Anuu, Abhi, Siva, CG, inmates of N413, N405, N124, N227, n211, "Z" section and Bioengineering classmates, other acquaintances, friends, friends of friends, juniors and all those who are undergoing similar feelings. I am glad and grateful to have known you. You will forever remain an integral part of my life.