December 26,2004: The disaster day. For me, it was just another day until I came down from my room to the meditation hall for my yoga classes. There was too much crying from my batch mates, and frantic phone calls. When I enquired, they said a tsunami had hit Tamil Nadu, and the waves had reached almost a kilometer from the beach. My batch mates' parents were calling to enquire whether we experienced the quake and reassure that they were fine. I waited for my parents to call too. Time passed but, but there was no phone call for me. I was getting more anxious and paranoid. Thoughts clogged my mind.. "Why have they not called yet... my home is just 1.5kms away from the beach.. I hope.. Oh my God!!.. God.. I just plead and pray that everyone at home are fine...". A tear escaped my eye. No.. Nothing would have gone wrong. The little angels, understanding what I was going through sat down next to me, held my hand and prayed that things should be fine back home. I got distracted and drawn to that wondrous happening. These kids did not even know who their parents were, and there they were, praying fervently for me!
I went on a 7km cancer awareness rally into the village. I sneaked out of the line when I spotted a PCO and made a quick call to home. The moment I heard my dad's voice, I was so relieved and hit by a wave of happiness and Love. My voice broke.. Suddenly, I wanted to tell them how much I loved them. Instead, all I could manage was, "I want to see you immediately.. Come here tomorrow". (My parents had called to my guide's mobile. She had forgotten to inform me.. Will never forgive her for that!!) And, my parents came the consecutive day and spent some time in heaven.
The day of my returning back to home finally came. We bode farewell to those little angel and thanked them for the experience and the fun time we spent with them. Strange, isn't it? I had gone there for charity, service, to teach those kids, entertain them...Bah.. If I may say, Bull shit!! What had I taught them? Did I ever entertain them? Wait a minute! I was one of the best at school, but what did I have to offer them? What an otiose being? Those little angels had taught me a lot, they have shaped me into, I must say, a real human being. They taught me how to look at Life in the right perspective. They taught me what real problems and trouble were. They taught me how to walk my path, to tackle obstacles, and most of all, to Love and Live. All that money we collected, all those material things we donated, all the activities we did are no match to what they had to offer us.
For all those people who stay at home and throw away useless money in the name of charity... Here is what I have to say, they are the blessed ones. Charity and altruism that we are familiar with, is a farce. If there is anything that you want to do for these children, go spend time with them. They do not want to be loved, they have loads of it. The world may have turned its face away from these destitute children, but God has not. If you think you can give love to those angels, you are wrong. These angels, gospels of Love, would shower you with real affection, Love that you would otherwise never experience in Life.
December 31,2004: I returned home with all this experience, bearing all their Love in my heart. Ah, Home, sweet home. Till date, and for all days to come, if ever misery should befall me, I would think of those little angels, and my ten day stay in Heaven. I laid there on my bed, staring at the ceiling, awaiting the break of a new dawn, a New year, and a refined Me...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The best days of my life - Part 1
The best days of my life - Part 1
The six best things that I cherish in my Life are Love, litle kids, learning, relationships, language and arts. Happiness has been an integral part of my life. The first child at home, I was born and brought up like a princess. Pampered and spoilt brat are two terms which could be easily associated with me. Right from the start of the day, the only activities I ws concerned with was my own personal hygiene, playing and sleeping. I had to depend on my mom, dad and even my younger cousins for feeding me in the morning, combing my hair and all. I was entirely oblivious to the happenings at home. Life was blissful; so I thought.
During my 11th grade, I got an opportunity to attend a camp, conducted by National Service Scheme (NSS). Ten students were selected to attend the camp. We were to go to an orphanage in a remote area, by name Sevalaya. That was my first venture away from home. I was all excited about the whole tour. Little did I know the hardships that were involved in it. "D- Day" came and we were taken to the orphanage. The moment we got down we were welcomed by a lot of kids. The best moments of my life started from then. December 22, 2004- December 31, 2004,I can say was the turning point in my life.
Right from the youngest, who was just 3 years old, to the oldest (who was just 12 years old), I had wads to learn from them. An otherwise late riser, I got up punctually at 5 in the morning and took yoga classes. For a person who is not accustomed to daily chores, washing clothes was the first obstacle. When I took out bucket to the washing area, there were tiny tots washing their clothes too. I was hit by a wave of ignominy. At the age of 15, I could not take care of myself. I sat there to observe those kids and followed suit!!! That was how ignorant I was. The second task for the day was tree plantation. Being the tough and hyper type I was, I wanted to do this one well. I took all the garden equipments and chose a place to dig. I chose that place, because there were no plants in that particular patch. I took the long rod and shovel and began to dig a hole. The process was sternous and it took me 25 odd minutes to make a hole big enough to plant the sapling. The soil was dry and full o frocks, making the process more tedious. I put the sapling inside and filled the hole. There! I had planted a sapling. I was so proud of myself and beaming with joy. There was this kid who was watching the whole fiasco through her sparkling eyes. I walked to her and gave her a pat on her cheek. She asked me,"Akka, Why have you planted the sapling there? The soil is too dry and does not support plant growth. Only thorny shrubs and weeds grow here". Strike two. The head strong git, who was so obsessed with her logically reasoning mind, had her first blow. I was so engrossed in proving a point and doing things right that I overlooked the state of the soil and the vegetation it supported. That was the first time that my Big Ego crashed to the ground. Later, that little angel showed me another place, and also showed me how to plant trees. Speechless and thwarted, I learnt the art of gardening from her. And to think that she was not even as tall as the rod, let alone the shovel!!
Assignment three was to help out the people at the old age home. I have this knack of winning people over with my mannerisms, talking style and humor. After a few hours there, I felt a pang in my heart. After bearing a lot of hurt, disappointment and betrayal from their own children and family, they still had tons of affection to shower on me. What was I in front of that unconditional love? A phony jabbering hollow words.. Within a couple of days, they made me realize the true meaning of Love. I learnt how to conquer hearts with Love, and better, learnt what Love was and how true Love would feel. Hit by waves of realization, I returned back to the orphanage (I would prefer calling it heaven from now on) after a tiny cricket match. I sat down to play with the children and interact with them. I was keeping them engrossed and amused with little stories, until I saw a girl with burn injuries all over her body. I could not suppress my curiosity and shamelessly asked her how such a fate befell her. That eight year girl, keeping all her emotions under control, narrated how her mother attempted a suicide and she, out of sheer helplessness and an urge to save her mother, went and hugged her to stop the flames from eating through her mom!! This big a tragedy and not the slightest falter in her voice. Her mom was long gone. Enough for the day!! I ran into the bathroom, opened all the taps,knelt on the floor and cried out loud. The whole learning process was too taxing for me. I was hit by turmoil of emotions. I felt disgusted with myself. God had given me everything and yet how I cribbed and complained about trivial issues. What ruckus I used to create. My life was perfect, but what value did I have for it? What justice have I done with it? I decided to take a break, and reconsider a lot of things in life, right a lot of wrongs. I went to the balcony and sat on the wall, gazing at the trees beyond, lost in thoughts.
When I came back to my senses, I realized that it was too dark and midst of the night. And i am afraid of the dark! what the hell? How do I walk back to my room now? I then steadied myself,looked around me and thought to myself,"What was there to get afraid of the dark. Look at this place. You are in heaven..and there are almost 50 little angels sleeping peacefully". I decided to take a stroll around the place, and felt tranquility. At that moment, I was trying to recollect what was that that made me feel so scared of the dark. And the entire notion seemed so ludicrous. I felt silly for being frightened all these years. Exhausted by the days' work and drained off due to my own conflict with emotions and myself, I retired to sleep.
I don't know if one would believe that people could turn into a new leaf overnight, but I had this light feeling in the morning. I had slept late, but felt so full of energy and eager to start off the day. I met the great founder of that place, and he narrated how a tiny poem of the great revolutionary Tamil poet,Bharathiar, had led him to tart this heaven. Life went on and every second was a learning experience for me. I am almost 21, stay in a hostel now, and its been almost four years since I moved out of home. I still feel lorn of being at home and speak to all for over an hour a day. During those ten days, I hardly once felt the urge to call my parents. This was not because I did not care, but I did not feel like a fish out of the pond.
The six best things that I cherish in my Life are Love, litle kids, learning, relationships, language and arts. Happiness has been an integral part of my life. The first child at home, I was born and brought up like a princess. Pampered and spoilt brat are two terms which could be easily associated with me. Right from the start of the day, the only activities I ws concerned with was my own personal hygiene, playing and sleeping. I had to depend on my mom, dad and even my younger cousins for feeding me in the morning, combing my hair and all. I was entirely oblivious to the happenings at home. Life was blissful; so I thought.
During my 11th grade, I got an opportunity to attend a camp, conducted by National Service Scheme (NSS). Ten students were selected to attend the camp. We were to go to an orphanage in a remote area, by name Sevalaya. That was my first venture away from home. I was all excited about the whole tour. Little did I know the hardships that were involved in it. "D- Day" came and we were taken to the orphanage. The moment we got down we were welcomed by a lot of kids. The best moments of my life started from then. December 22, 2004- December 31, 2004,I can say was the turning point in my life.
Right from the youngest, who was just 3 years old, to the oldest (who was just 12 years old), I had wads to learn from them. An otherwise late riser, I got up punctually at 5 in the morning and took yoga classes. For a person who is not accustomed to daily chores, washing clothes was the first obstacle. When I took out bucket to the washing area, there were tiny tots washing their clothes too. I was hit by a wave of ignominy. At the age of 15, I could not take care of myself. I sat there to observe those kids and followed suit!!! That was how ignorant I was. The second task for the day was tree plantation. Being the tough and hyper type I was, I wanted to do this one well. I took all the garden equipments and chose a place to dig. I chose that place, because there were no plants in that particular patch. I took the long rod and shovel and began to dig a hole. The process was sternous and it took me 25 odd minutes to make a hole big enough to plant the sapling. The soil was dry and full o frocks, making the process more tedious. I put the sapling inside and filled the hole. There! I had planted a sapling. I was so proud of myself and beaming with joy. There was this kid who was watching the whole fiasco through her sparkling eyes. I walked to her and gave her a pat on her cheek. She asked me,"Akka, Why have you planted the sapling there? The soil is too dry and does not support plant growth. Only thorny shrubs and weeds grow here". Strike two. The head strong git, who was so obsessed with her logically reasoning mind, had her first blow. I was so engrossed in proving a point and doing things right that I overlooked the state of the soil and the vegetation it supported. That was the first time that my Big Ego crashed to the ground. Later, that little angel showed me another place, and also showed me how to plant trees. Speechless and thwarted, I learnt the art of gardening from her. And to think that she was not even as tall as the rod, let alone the shovel!!
Assignment three was to help out the people at the old age home. I have this knack of winning people over with my mannerisms, talking style and humor. After a few hours there, I felt a pang in my heart. After bearing a lot of hurt, disappointment and betrayal from their own children and family, they still had tons of affection to shower on me. What was I in front of that unconditional love? A phony jabbering hollow words.. Within a couple of days, they made me realize the true meaning of Love. I learnt how to conquer hearts with Love, and better, learnt what Love was and how true Love would feel. Hit by waves of realization, I returned back to the orphanage (I would prefer calling it heaven from now on) after a tiny cricket match. I sat down to play with the children and interact with them. I was keeping them engrossed and amused with little stories, until I saw a girl with burn injuries all over her body. I could not suppress my curiosity and shamelessly asked her how such a fate befell her. That eight year girl, keeping all her emotions under control, narrated how her mother attempted a suicide and she, out of sheer helplessness and an urge to save her mother, went and hugged her to stop the flames from eating through her mom!! This big a tragedy and not the slightest falter in her voice. Her mom was long gone. Enough for the day!! I ran into the bathroom, opened all the taps,knelt on the floor and cried out loud. The whole learning process was too taxing for me. I was hit by turmoil of emotions. I felt disgusted with myself. God had given me everything and yet how I cribbed and complained about trivial issues. What ruckus I used to create. My life was perfect, but what value did I have for it? What justice have I done with it? I decided to take a break, and reconsider a lot of things in life, right a lot of wrongs. I went to the balcony and sat on the wall, gazing at the trees beyond, lost in thoughts.
When I came back to my senses, I realized that it was too dark and midst of the night. And i am afraid of the dark! what the hell? How do I walk back to my room now? I then steadied myself,looked around me and thought to myself,"What was there to get afraid of the dark. Look at this place. You are in heaven..and there are almost 50 little angels sleeping peacefully". I decided to take a stroll around the place, and felt tranquility. At that moment, I was trying to recollect what was that that made me feel so scared of the dark. And the entire notion seemed so ludicrous. I felt silly for being frightened all these years. Exhausted by the days' work and drained off due to my own conflict with emotions and myself, I retired to sleep.
I don't know if one would believe that people could turn into a new leaf overnight, but I had this light feeling in the morning. I had slept late, but felt so full of energy and eager to start off the day. I met the great founder of that place, and he narrated how a tiny poem of the great revolutionary Tamil poet,Bharathiar, had led him to tart this heaven. Life went on and every second was a learning experience for me. I am almost 21, stay in a hostel now, and its been almost four years since I moved out of home. I still feel lorn of being at home and speak to all for over an hour a day. During those ten days, I hardly once felt the urge to call my parents. This was not because I did not care, but I did not feel like a fish out of the pond.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Greetings to all and a hearty welcome to my blog
I have had an aversion to writing right from my childhood. Ironically enough, I have a flair for writing and immense love for English language. I have ,throughout my life, ignored my inherent potencies. I did not want to let my elan for writing die out too. I sat down to write a poem, but my words were too strong and language too serious for poetry. I tried writing a novel, and lost interest in due course of time. I realized it was not mere stories or my creativity that I needed to share with the world, but excerpts from my life itself.
I resort to blogging now to keep my zest for writing alive and to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Let me show you the world, as I perceive it. ;)
I resort to blogging now to keep my zest for writing alive and to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Let me show you the world, as I perceive it. ;)
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