This post of mine was a result of a lot of incidents and happenings put together. A lot of people are fond of children, not because they look cute, but they have a certain innocence about them. They are devoid of those conditioning that binds us, and are happy and peaceful in their own world. Thanks to the new trend, rapidly spreading westernization (I wonder what the westerners would say if they saw this madness being blamed on them), parents of these days are too busy to take care of their children. You may find most children of these days growing up under their grandparents' supervision. Quite often I see old men and women, walking, rather, may I use the word "limping" or half running with great effort and pain, behind their naughty grandchildren, who treat them with no more regard than they have for servants at home (Servants are not meant to be treat so lowly either). The whole process of waking them up, getting them dressed, force them to finish their breafast, dropping them and picking them up from school, and dropping them at their "parents' " place is now the duty of every grandparent. This "duty" of theirs is not just on school days, but also on weekends, when the couple together goes out for partying, late night movies etc. Some people spoil their kids with gadgets, as owning them has now become the latest trend. You're in 5th grade, and you don't own a mobile?? "Dude.. you must be kidding me!!". Parents who can afford more than luxury buy mobile, PS2, laptops (even at 6th grade), and a whole collection of game cds and a really large amount as pocket money. Even parents who wish not to spoil their children like that are forced to get one, for their child is otherwise, ignored, humiliated and friendless.
Kids of these days have access to almost everything.. they are even clever enough to create profiles for themselves in social networking sites, project themselves to be older than their age, befriend any Tom, Dick and Harry to compete for the "Person who has the most number of friends", and access that which is way beyond their age. It may seem shocking and almost untrue to you, but I've caught one of my own cousins checking out nude pictures on the net!! What we never knew until our 7th grade when certain portions were "omitted" in Biology class, children know at the age of 7. I can even vouch that they would have a larger pool of "A" jokes than us at this age! Cajoling kids, tousling their hair, or giving a peck on their cheek is no longer categorized as admiration or cute. Kids think its "embarrassing" when their parents exhibit some public display of affection. I was shocked when one of my little cousin's friend reacted with a "Sssup dude..." when I greeted him. @#%@#$$@ Well, my face then registered a zillion emotions at that moment! That moment of admiration that I developed for that chubby kid was shattered in no less than a second! A lot of kids also go to places like CCD, Barrista and all those posh places and spend magnanimously. Laptops, mobiles, bikes, pocket money of 500 a week, hanging out with friends at posh places atleast once in a week (costs not covered under pocket money funding) has become a requisite. Friends are just a gang of people who give each other company for all the above atrocities. It is mandatory to have a boyfriend/girlfriend at high school. And much worse as you enter college. Kids are born precocious these days!!
Another interesting feature of the GenX is that they have to undergo a motley of extra curricular classes. And this too, is done on a competitive basis. The boy on the second floor attends 5. You must attend atlest 8!! Such is the attitude of parents! Who is to blame for all this?? The parents? Children? A really tough question to answer. What happens if they don't compete is that, their child, regardless of how good, talented, or a darling he/she is, are mindlessly categorized as imbeciles or dunces! Their parents make enough money, and so going abroad for Masters has become a "trend" too. A handful go there because they are interested in studies. The only motto that's fed into them is be better than the best (in a mindless way) and make as much money and maintain your status in society. Schools also add fuel to this fire by their "new teaching methodologies". They burden the kids with projects that require access to internet, "copy-pasting" stuff off wikipedia, taking colour printouts, filing them and submitting them on the stipulated date. The ones with no access to internet, or who cannot afford to spend for printouts are considered unfit to study in that School. The fate of these assignments are to go into the bin! There are schools which even employ "e learning", and that requires the 1st graders to carry laptops to school!!
There was once a time when we listened to our parents out of love. Such is the scenario that kids make decision for themselves and for the family. Parents don't have any say. The word "obedience" and respect is now obsolete. A judge once told in his lecture at a school, "Every parent wants his/her child to take up a professional course, go abroad, do their masters, settle there and take up a job that has a turnover of lakhs per month! What happens when you're really sick and need their love, care and attention the most, is that you get a mail, or rarely, a call, saying that they've transferred the requisite money for their treatment, and for hiring a nurse. Parents ought not to be "silly" enough to expect their "busy" children to come down and spend some quality time with them during their last days.
Where is the world going??
I have just this message to the parents: If you think your child is an expert in computers or handling gadgets at such a young age, well, please think again! They are misusing it to the maximum possible extent. They have not invented any new software. Never feel proud of it. Gaming for hours together is not a pasttime or hobby. Its just sheer addiction. Try this at home: ask your child what his/her hobbies are... not many children would ever give back a constructive, creative reply! And if the answer is null, then your child is IT!! Its high time you do something before your child gets sucked into the fabricated, false, "Modern World". This is not keeping up with growing and changing trends, but losing one's individuality, and in children's case, losing it even before they can develop one for themselves. A lot of us have ambitions: little events like getting a gift for our parents, buying ourselves stuff with our first salary, brought immense happiness. You bring up your child to be "self sufficient" and "fully equipped", be in par with the "other one", tell me this: How would they know the value of anything in life? What would their meaning of life be?? Have they any clue about their culture? How would they define happiness.. as getting high and partying in closed, confined, claustrophobic, flashy clubs and discotheques??
Madness is a state that the mind turns itself into a fabricated world, where the unacceptable truth doesn't exist. Is that what it is ?? Humans are breeding and bringing up an entire race of MAD people?? This goes on, and will go on like a vicious cycle. Madness, leading to more madness.
"Inhe phir se yaad dila de sabak vohi pyaar ka
Ban jaaye gulshan phir se kaanton bhari duniya"
These are the lines out of a song, Ek tu hi bharosa sung to perfection by Lata Mangeshkar. Spread the gospel of love among the masses again, so that this world, which is filled with thorns, will once again blossom into a garden. It will take some joint effort... I am doing my part, and I hope you do too.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
An interesting bedtime story
This was one of the best bedtime stories I've ever listened to.. Actually, it was a real life incident narrated in story form. I write about this in my blog to share this story with as many people as possible, wishing that they'd learn something out of this little story!
Once, while in Mumbai, my brother and his parents took a ride on a very interesting auto. It had a PCO, a box to collect money, another box filled with chocolates, a mobile charger and newspaper.. all this and the fares were nominal. The autowala explained that he was collecting money for some cancer institute, and also donates some amount from his daily savings. He also provides free rides to pregnant and old women. Some of you may be familiar with this "God person", as he'd once given an interview in BBC. Yet another person, a beggar, saved up the money he got and bought dresses for some 7-8 challenged children. He also sends money to his wife who stays elsewhere.
This is what true charity or altruism is about. Giving away old clothes that are of no use to us, extra money with which we have no clue what to do, sponsoring a day's meal during festive occasions is a poor demonstration of what fools would call charity. Any skeptic or critic would laugh at such a gesture, or at a beggar giving off his money. One would wonder , who's money he's giving off in the name of charity, while he himself is living at someone else's expense. The so called "morality", a farcical term, would be put under scrutiny then. Little would they pay attention to their selflessness or their altruism. After reading this, one may think, if people who earn this little can do this much, why can't I?? That's exactly the kind of feeling I'd pray one would not get. It would be better to sit back rather than doing it to beat someone at it. Selflessness, love and charity go hand in glove.
Let me give you an excerpt out of our great epic, the Mahabharatha. This is a story about the "Golden Mongoose". After the great Kurukshetra war, the Pandavas were asked to throw a "Charity feast" for the poor by a sage, to wash away their sins. In the midst of the feast, they noticed a moongoose rolling on the ground. They went up to it and demanded to know what was happening. They were also surprised to see that one side of the mongoose was golden. When asked for the reason for its action and the golden skin on one side, the mongoose narrated his experience: The mongoose was walking past a village. It decided to rest and took a nap near a shabby little hut. When he woke up, to his surprise, half his body had turned golden!! He could not understand how this happened. He later came to know from a sage that there was once a very poor family of four, that lived in that hut. They were so poor that they could afford only a meal for two days. Once a hrishi walked up to their door and asked for food. The bread earner of the family decided that he'd give his share of the food rather than to let his wife and kids starve. The hrishi had it and still demanded that he was hungry and needed more food. The wife gave up her share too. However, this did not satisfy the hrishi's hunger. The kids had to sacrifice their share too. Contended, the hrishi blessed them and left the place. However, the family died of starvation. The land there was blessed of their sacrifice and selflessness that had turned the mongoose's skin into gold! The mongoose then explained that he was told by the sage to go to a place where there was actual charity going on, to turn the other side of his skin to gold too, and that was why he'd walked into the Pandavas' feast. Inspite of rolling on the floor, the mongoose's true color actually remained.
The Pandavas' mistake is what all rich and honored people of our society do. There may be a lot of people who debate whether our epics are a myth or a record of ancient happenings. Whatever it may be, the story definitely gives us a lesson to learn.
Readers, I wish and hope that this post of mine makes you ponder over the true meaning of charity and also drives you to analyze where you stand. Let us learn to love and respect fellow human beings, regardless of caste, creed, gender, education, and even profession. Let's first open our hearts, and make way for True Love.. the rest is bound to follow...
PS: This is my a very little birthday gift to my brother, Siva, who narrated this story to me.. Belated happy birthday dear, and happy Rakshabandhan too :) :)
Once, while in Mumbai, my brother and his parents took a ride on a very interesting auto. It had a PCO, a box to collect money, another box filled with chocolates, a mobile charger and newspaper.. all this and the fares were nominal. The autowala explained that he was collecting money for some cancer institute, and also donates some amount from his daily savings. He also provides free rides to pregnant and old women. Some of you may be familiar with this "God person", as he'd once given an interview in BBC. Yet another person, a beggar, saved up the money he got and bought dresses for some 7-8 challenged children. He also sends money to his wife who stays elsewhere.
This is what true charity or altruism is about. Giving away old clothes that are of no use to us, extra money with which we have no clue what to do, sponsoring a day's meal during festive occasions is a poor demonstration of what fools would call charity. Any skeptic or critic would laugh at such a gesture, or at a beggar giving off his money. One would wonder , who's money he's giving off in the name of charity, while he himself is living at someone else's expense. The so called "morality", a farcical term, would be put under scrutiny then. Little would they pay attention to their selflessness or their altruism. After reading this, one may think, if people who earn this little can do this much, why can't I?? That's exactly the kind of feeling I'd pray one would not get. It would be better to sit back rather than doing it to beat someone at it. Selflessness, love and charity go hand in glove.
Let me give you an excerpt out of our great epic, the Mahabharatha. This is a story about the "Golden Mongoose". After the great Kurukshetra war, the Pandavas were asked to throw a "Charity feast" for the poor by a sage, to wash away their sins. In the midst of the feast, they noticed a moongoose rolling on the ground. They went up to it and demanded to know what was happening. They were also surprised to see that one side of the mongoose was golden. When asked for the reason for its action and the golden skin on one side, the mongoose narrated his experience: The mongoose was walking past a village. It decided to rest and took a nap near a shabby little hut. When he woke up, to his surprise, half his body had turned golden!! He could not understand how this happened. He later came to know from a sage that there was once a very poor family of four, that lived in that hut. They were so poor that they could afford only a meal for two days. Once a hrishi walked up to their door and asked for food. The bread earner of the family decided that he'd give his share of the food rather than to let his wife and kids starve. The hrishi had it and still demanded that he was hungry and needed more food. The wife gave up her share too. However, this did not satisfy the hrishi's hunger. The kids had to sacrifice their share too. Contended, the hrishi blessed them and left the place. However, the family died of starvation. The land there was blessed of their sacrifice and selflessness that had turned the mongoose's skin into gold! The mongoose then explained that he was told by the sage to go to a place where there was actual charity going on, to turn the other side of his skin to gold too, and that was why he'd walked into the Pandavas' feast. Inspite of rolling on the floor, the mongoose's true color actually remained.
The Pandavas' mistake is what all rich and honored people of our society do. There may be a lot of people who debate whether our epics are a myth or a record of ancient happenings. Whatever it may be, the story definitely gives us a lesson to learn.
Readers, I wish and hope that this post of mine makes you ponder over the true meaning of charity and also drives you to analyze where you stand. Let us learn to love and respect fellow human beings, regardless of caste, creed, gender, education, and even profession. Let's first open our hearts, and make way for True Love.. the rest is bound to follow...
PS: This is my a very little birthday gift to my brother, Siva, who narrated this story to me.. Belated happy birthday dear, and happy Rakshabandhan too :) :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
How I met the "Three Idiots" of my life..
One of my very few pleasant dreams, one that I will cherish for the rest of my life... for that was one dream that came true for me. A gang of 4 very close friends, one a singer, one a poet, one my dearest brother, and then there was me. I had this dream thrice; though it left me with a pleasant feeling, I used to laugh at it. This may happen in Utopia, I thought. I had once said the last thing I would ever do was stay away from home. Fate was such that I had to join hostel for my UG studies. I was initially intimidated about this fact. I was always surrounded by people whom I love, who pamper me. To manage and cope up with Life away from home seemed like a mammoth task to me.
My first day @ SASTRA University. I chose to sit in one corner of the class (because I have trouble starting a conversation). One biiiig jabber mouth came and sat next to me. Hi, my name's Saai Lakshmi... kachar kachar kachar... I thought I was going to bleed out of my ears! The gal would not shut up!!! She kept talking throughout the class. What nonsense, I thought. Then the first attendance of my college. Sivasubramanian... as the name was called, a huge thing at the other end of the class croaked, Present Sir! Ewww.. What is he? A huge toad or a sack of something or Humpty Dumpty?? My first FORTRAN (computer) lab... There he was, Abhinay Ramaprasad, asking me this and that...: P I felt like saying to him, "I am new to this lab too, kid. How would I know??” The next day, I changed my place and sat away from that jabber mouth. I begun to give cold stares at Humpty Dumpty as he was taking all the fame and made me feel less important in Math class (how childish of me!!). I gave replies only when asked to the fellow who could only ask me questions. Things were just the same, time passed on.
I noticed that Jabber mouth was always homesick and crying. I once offered to help her, and there she was, walking all the way back to the hostel, jabbering away to glory. I thought, "oh my god! What have I gotten myself into??” Well, things changed after that. She moved into the hostel. I kept going over to her room to check whether she was ok. I felt an overwhelming urge to protect her (from God only knows what), have fun with her, listen to her jabbering (: O: O)... just hang around. The person I am, only listening to others' troubles and views and not sharing my own, I first felt like sharing it with her. And suddenly all her jabberwocky took a transition from intolerable to interesting and fun. I had this feeling that we've known each other since long. One fine day, as I walked along the corridor towards her room, I heard a magical, melodious voice. Wait... It can't be... But, yes it was!! There she was... singing away to glory. Encore!!! We all said when she was done with her song. A talented female with an innate talent for singing... Interesting! Time passed, we grew into thick friends. I still bug the hell out of her every day. It feels like I know her well, inside out. You may have all heard about sharing excellent vibes with people whom you love. This is true in Anu's case. Words were not necessary to express what she had in mind and vice versa. We always saw each others' naked face. The sign of true friendship. A special mention about our really long walks in the hostel lawn. Aimless as they were, they are till date a mandatory part of our everyday life. Talking, singing, joking, laughing, crying, scolding, even dead silence... eternal bliss, I would call it. Those moments in the lawn are incomparable and irreplaceable. And that is how a wonderful relationship evolved between the singer and me...
One rainy noon. I was sitting in Anu's(jabber mouth) room talking to her and texting my friends. That was when I got Abhinay's number. I planned to pull a prank on him. So begun our relationship, I must say. Mere texting for time pass evolved slowly into conversation between two friends. One day, when he was down and gloomy for having a tiff with his roommate, he called me (for the first time) and poured down all his worries. Under such circumstances, I usually wonder why any person would vent out their feelings to me. This time I felt, God, I must do something to make him feel better. We started sharing our views on everything under the sky. Without the least of efforts, and even our knowledge, we could share our raw thoughts without filtering them, mincing our words or even bothering about its after effects. We had absolutely no boundaries or barriers whatsoever. There were times when we stayed out of contact for weeks or days together. But, when it resumed, it still felt the same, without the least of strain. One of the handful of people with whom I can talk without the least of hesitation and qualms. We've had moments of happiness, and worse, loads of arguments. We would argue our heads off like we were never even going to look at each other again or one of us would drop dead by the end of the debate. Ironically enough, we would be laughing and talking as that moment of uneasiness and irritation never ever happened. For those who want to know what unconditional friendship is, I give you the example of Abhi and me. And for the very interesting part, Abhi shared his set of poems with me one day. I was flabbergasted. You've got to be kidding me, I thought. Two out of three characters in my dream... my close friends!!! :O
Well then, there was Siva. I don't know how, when and why it started. I've tried to reason out why I Love him so much, what was that spark that started it all up. For us, it felt like reviving a lost relationship, like we were linked forever. The simplest way to define me is call me a "mature child"... oxymoron. With Siva, I feel like a little kid. For every small issue, even for a tiny scratch that I had recently, I feel like running to him with tear filled eyes and puppy dog face for consolation. I feel like he was my long lost big brother. Like my friend quoted, "A brother by heart, not by blood". This is apt for my relationship with Siva. It’s like the stork was drunk while delivering babies through the chimney and we were dropped at different places. When I recline or think as I am lying down to sleep, I lose myself completely in fond memories of my childhood. My mind would involuntarily search for Siva. It is only when I come back from my dreamy state that I would realize he was never a part of my childhood. It feels so real now, that accepting the fact that we met here seems so unrealistic. An integral part of my life now... Right from waking me up in the morning to putting me to sleep in the night. He's filled the void that existed after I came away from my parents. Protective Father, affectionate mother, and ever loving brother... (Strict at times :( ) My little family package away from home. I never believed in Love without a reason or Love at first sight. Now, I am clear about the FACT that Love doesn't always happen with a gross reason. Words and thoughts gush and flow in with tremendous speed as I write about my dearest brother Siva. It is rather difficult to pen them down. If I were to put them in one single word, I would choose Happiness... bouncing around like an Easter Bunny. I never want to grow up with Siva. I forever want to remain his "little" bugger sister. (Sister, I always was and I Am... It’s the little part that I want to emphasize on).
When the four close friends sit on the benches in college and engross ourselves in pulling each others' leg, loads of laughter and tickle, I look at all this in amazement. A “dream come true”?? Is this what people call eternal Bliss? Am I still dreaming of my Utopia? There they are, fragments of my dream, sitting in front of me... Very much real, and bubbling with Life and Love. It brings an extra special smile on my lips... a reflection from the bottom of my Heart. This I dedicate to my dearest friends, one dearest brother and my crazy, weird dream.
PS: I am going to get back at the three of you for reading this blog of mine before completion, without my knowledge. X-(Nonsense!!!
My first day @ SASTRA University. I chose to sit in one corner of the class (because I have trouble starting a conversation). One biiiig jabber mouth came and sat next to me. Hi, my name's Saai Lakshmi... kachar kachar kachar... I thought I was going to bleed out of my ears! The gal would not shut up!!! She kept talking throughout the class. What nonsense, I thought. Then the first attendance of my college. Sivasubramanian... as the name was called, a huge thing at the other end of the class croaked, Present Sir! Ewww.. What is he? A huge toad or a sack of something or Humpty Dumpty?? My first FORTRAN (computer) lab... There he was, Abhinay Ramaprasad, asking me this and that...: P I felt like saying to him, "I am new to this lab too, kid. How would I know??” The next day, I changed my place and sat away from that jabber mouth. I begun to give cold stares at Humpty Dumpty as he was taking all the fame and made me feel less important in Math class (how childish of me!!). I gave replies only when asked to the fellow who could only ask me questions. Things were just the same, time passed on.
I noticed that Jabber mouth was always homesick and crying. I once offered to help her, and there she was, walking all the way back to the hostel, jabbering away to glory. I thought, "oh my god! What have I gotten myself into??” Well, things changed after that. She moved into the hostel. I kept going over to her room to check whether she was ok. I felt an overwhelming urge to protect her (from God only knows what), have fun with her, listen to her jabbering (: O: O)... just hang around. The person I am, only listening to others' troubles and views and not sharing my own, I first felt like sharing it with her. And suddenly all her jabberwocky took a transition from intolerable to interesting and fun. I had this feeling that we've known each other since long. One fine day, as I walked along the corridor towards her room, I heard a magical, melodious voice. Wait... It can't be... But, yes it was!! There she was... singing away to glory. Encore!!! We all said when she was done with her song. A talented female with an innate talent for singing... Interesting! Time passed, we grew into thick friends. I still bug the hell out of her every day. It feels like I know her well, inside out. You may have all heard about sharing excellent vibes with people whom you love. This is true in Anu's case. Words were not necessary to express what she had in mind and vice versa. We always saw each others' naked face. The sign of true friendship. A special mention about our really long walks in the hostel lawn. Aimless as they were, they are till date a mandatory part of our everyday life. Talking, singing, joking, laughing, crying, scolding, even dead silence... eternal bliss, I would call it. Those moments in the lawn are incomparable and irreplaceable. And that is how a wonderful relationship evolved between the singer and me...
One rainy noon. I was sitting in Anu's(jabber mouth) room talking to her and texting my friends. That was when I got Abhinay's number. I planned to pull a prank on him. So begun our relationship, I must say. Mere texting for time pass evolved slowly into conversation between two friends. One day, when he was down and gloomy for having a tiff with his roommate, he called me (for the first time) and poured down all his worries. Under such circumstances, I usually wonder why any person would vent out their feelings to me. This time I felt, God, I must do something to make him feel better. We started sharing our views on everything under the sky. Without the least of efforts, and even our knowledge, we could share our raw thoughts without filtering them, mincing our words or even bothering about its after effects. We had absolutely no boundaries or barriers whatsoever. There were times when we stayed out of contact for weeks or days together. But, when it resumed, it still felt the same, without the least of strain. One of the handful of people with whom I can talk without the least of hesitation and qualms. We've had moments of happiness, and worse, loads of arguments. We would argue our heads off like we were never even going to look at each other again or one of us would drop dead by the end of the debate. Ironically enough, we would be laughing and talking as that moment of uneasiness and irritation never ever happened. For those who want to know what unconditional friendship is, I give you the example of Abhi and me. And for the very interesting part, Abhi shared his set of poems with me one day. I was flabbergasted. You've got to be kidding me, I thought. Two out of three characters in my dream... my close friends!!! :O
Well then, there was Siva. I don't know how, when and why it started. I've tried to reason out why I Love him so much, what was that spark that started it all up. For us, it felt like reviving a lost relationship, like we were linked forever. The simplest way to define me is call me a "mature child"... oxymoron. With Siva, I feel like a little kid. For every small issue, even for a tiny scratch that I had recently, I feel like running to him with tear filled eyes and puppy dog face for consolation. I feel like he was my long lost big brother. Like my friend quoted, "A brother by heart, not by blood". This is apt for my relationship with Siva. It’s like the stork was drunk while delivering babies through the chimney and we were dropped at different places. When I recline or think as I am lying down to sleep, I lose myself completely in fond memories of my childhood. My mind would involuntarily search for Siva. It is only when I come back from my dreamy state that I would realize he was never a part of my childhood. It feels so real now, that accepting the fact that we met here seems so unrealistic. An integral part of my life now... Right from waking me up in the morning to putting me to sleep in the night. He's filled the void that existed after I came away from my parents. Protective Father, affectionate mother, and ever loving brother... (Strict at times :( ) My little family package away from home. I never believed in Love without a reason or Love at first sight. Now, I am clear about the FACT that Love doesn't always happen with a gross reason. Words and thoughts gush and flow in with tremendous speed as I write about my dearest brother Siva. It is rather difficult to pen them down. If I were to put them in one single word, I would choose Happiness... bouncing around like an Easter Bunny. I never want to grow up with Siva. I forever want to remain his "little" bugger sister. (Sister, I always was and I Am... It’s the little part that I want to emphasize on).
When the four close friends sit on the benches in college and engross ourselves in pulling each others' leg, loads of laughter and tickle, I look at all this in amazement. A “dream come true”?? Is this what people call eternal Bliss? Am I still dreaming of my Utopia? There they are, fragments of my dream, sitting in front of me... Very much real, and bubbling with Life and Love. It brings an extra special smile on my lips... a reflection from the bottom of my Heart. This I dedicate to my dearest friends, one dearest brother and my crazy, weird dream.
PS: I am going to get back at the three of you for reading this blog of mine before completion, without my knowledge. X-(Nonsense!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Nostalgia... :')
I lay on my bed, staring out of the window, looking at the buildings and the dark starry sky. Right then, I was struck by multiple waves of emotions and intense thoughts. I decided to sit up and let my thoughts loose, just as Dumbledore saves them in his Pensieve. Well, my UG life will end in two weeks' time, so will my stay at this hostel. I felt like taking a walk down the memory lane, rewind Life and revisit those events which will forever remain etched.
Before my admissions into this college, I was intimidated about my stay in the hostel. I did not know how I would cope up to the changes in lifestyle, no more pampering and meeting a battalion of strangers. A week passed and the feel of staying in a hostel started to sink into my system. However, the feeling of being torn away from Home did not vanish that soon. I felt home sick quite occasionally, which is typical for anyone who first experiences a Life away from home. I met new people, I made friends,I stayed away from some, had minor tiffs with some, disliked some. Overall, this place has given me a hang of what the Real World would seem like. It taught me how to face the World as a "Single Man Army". A lot of us have had a lot of negative points to tell about our college and hostel. We've been pushed to the extent of cursing and swearing at certain rules and people. But look at us now.. We've lived through all the negatives. We are survivors.. this place has made us tough. Not only are we going to graduate as technocrats, but also as better and mature individuals. On a comparative scale, we've gained more than we've lost.
on a personal note, I have encountered a turmoil of emotions, characters and situations during my four year span at this place. My friends and well-wishers have made me strong, my enemies (if I may use that term without really meaning it) have made me stronger. It has taught me that liking or disliking a person is sheer prejudice, a fabrication of our mind. Most of us think that keeping good company helps us imbibe such good qualities. Do we really have nothing to learn from the so-called bad company? Well, think about it.. It has taught me what not to be and what not to do in Life. Is that not a valuable lesson too? Who cares if I dislike a person or that person dislikes me? I have hundreds who Love me for what I am, and who I am. When at home, we crib and throw tantrums at the slightest of discrepancies, be it in opinions, food, mannerisms, sleep-wake cycle etc. Here, we've learnt to cope up with average food, tolerating people, and sometimes, doing a lot of things against our will. This has taught me to appreciate even little things that happens at home and among family. I feel grateful for all that I have. I now have realized that even small happenings have a lot of significance in my Life.
I walk to the balcony and look at the lawn below. I see and hear ghosts of the past.. lot of laughter, smiles, silent moments, fights, discussions, confessions, rantings, tears, giggles, gossips.. what not? God! If only I could be given an opportunity to relive certain excerpts from my hostel Life. I'd miss rushing to college and making a crash landing to class twenty minutes late, the relief I feel to get back to hostel and recline on my bed, the 6:30 roll calls, endless talking and texting over phone. This place has brought people from places far and wide together. I feel a pang of sadness when I think that I may not see these friends of mine as freqently as I see them now. We'll part our ways, blend in with our busy schedules, some at work place, some at academic institutions, some into a new family and some idling away at home. I may move on and meet a lot of new, much more interesting people, but my heart will forever carry the memories of these people who've knowingly or unknowingly touched my life. We may meet again in a reunion, five or ten years down the line to share the path our lives have taken, to remember those little incidents that brought us together.
I sat down with my eyes closed, rewound my life for what it was four years back and played them over again in my mind. When I recovered from that I found a tear on my cheek and smile on my lips. Aah.. Nostalgia. The most wondrous feeling.. next only to Love and friendship. It gives one the opportunity to even remember his/her enemies. It is one feeling that allows you to even smile at the hardships you've faced and pitfalls you've had. It gives you a new energy and a feeling that we've already undergone all this and emerged a victor. We are competent enough to face any challenge that Life throws at us. A time to laugh hard at fights and arguments, and harder at funny and embarrassing moments. The times we cried would now seem silly, for we have evolved, become more mature and wise.
This place has shaped me into what I am now, earned me a degree, loads of experiences, and most of all, a wonderful set of friends. It has taught me to look at Life with a brighter and optimistic perspective. When I suddenly look at the college with the same eye, this place seems like Heaven to me!! When I leave this place, I would be college sick. I'll miss this place. A vaccuum will surround me until I learn to get over it and adjust to my next progress. Regardless of the journey I take, the heights I may reach, sweet, fond memories would still linger on...
I dedicate this post to my closest friends, Anuu, Abhi, Siva, CG, inmates of N413, N405, N124, N227, n211, "Z" section and Bioengineering classmates, other acquaintances, friends, friends of friends, juniors and all those who are undergoing similar feelings. I am glad and grateful to have known you. You will forever remain an integral part of my life.
Before my admissions into this college, I was intimidated about my stay in the hostel. I did not know how I would cope up to the changes in lifestyle, no more pampering and meeting a battalion of strangers. A week passed and the feel of staying in a hostel started to sink into my system. However, the feeling of being torn away from Home did not vanish that soon. I felt home sick quite occasionally, which is typical for anyone who first experiences a Life away from home. I met new people, I made friends,I stayed away from some, had minor tiffs with some, disliked some. Overall, this place has given me a hang of what the Real World would seem like. It taught me how to face the World as a "Single Man Army". A lot of us have had a lot of negative points to tell about our college and hostel. We've been pushed to the extent of cursing and swearing at certain rules and people. But look at us now.. We've lived through all the negatives. We are survivors.. this place has made us tough. Not only are we going to graduate as technocrats, but also as better and mature individuals. On a comparative scale, we've gained more than we've lost.
on a personal note, I have encountered a turmoil of emotions, characters and situations during my four year span at this place. My friends and well-wishers have made me strong, my enemies (if I may use that term without really meaning it) have made me stronger. It has taught me that liking or disliking a person is sheer prejudice, a fabrication of our mind. Most of us think that keeping good company helps us imbibe such good qualities. Do we really have nothing to learn from the so-called bad company? Well, think about it.. It has taught me what not to be and what not to do in Life. Is that not a valuable lesson too? Who cares if I dislike a person or that person dislikes me? I have hundreds who Love me for what I am, and who I am. When at home, we crib and throw tantrums at the slightest of discrepancies, be it in opinions, food, mannerisms, sleep-wake cycle etc. Here, we've learnt to cope up with average food, tolerating people, and sometimes, doing a lot of things against our will. This has taught me to appreciate even little things that happens at home and among family. I feel grateful for all that I have. I now have realized that even small happenings have a lot of significance in my Life.
I walk to the balcony and look at the lawn below. I see and hear ghosts of the past.. lot of laughter, smiles, silent moments, fights, discussions, confessions, rantings, tears, giggles, gossips.. what not? God! If only I could be given an opportunity to relive certain excerpts from my hostel Life. I'd miss rushing to college and making a crash landing to class twenty minutes late, the relief I feel to get back to hostel and recline on my bed, the 6:30 roll calls, endless talking and texting over phone. This place has brought people from places far and wide together. I feel a pang of sadness when I think that I may not see these friends of mine as freqently as I see them now. We'll part our ways, blend in with our busy schedules, some at work place, some at academic institutions, some into a new family and some idling away at home. I may move on and meet a lot of new, much more interesting people, but my heart will forever carry the memories of these people who've knowingly or unknowingly touched my life. We may meet again in a reunion, five or ten years down the line to share the path our lives have taken, to remember those little incidents that brought us together.
I sat down with my eyes closed, rewound my life for what it was four years back and played them over again in my mind. When I recovered from that I found a tear on my cheek and smile on my lips. Aah.. Nostalgia. The most wondrous feeling.. next only to Love and friendship. It gives one the opportunity to even remember his/her enemies. It is one feeling that allows you to even smile at the hardships you've faced and pitfalls you've had. It gives you a new energy and a feeling that we've already undergone all this and emerged a victor. We are competent enough to face any challenge that Life throws at us. A time to laugh hard at fights and arguments, and harder at funny and embarrassing moments. The times we cried would now seem silly, for we have evolved, become more mature and wise.
This place has shaped me into what I am now, earned me a degree, loads of experiences, and most of all, a wonderful set of friends. It has taught me to look at Life with a brighter and optimistic perspective. When I suddenly look at the college with the same eye, this place seems like Heaven to me!! When I leave this place, I would be college sick. I'll miss this place. A vaccuum will surround me until I learn to get over it and adjust to my next progress. Regardless of the journey I take, the heights I may reach, sweet, fond memories would still linger on...
I dedicate this post to my closest friends, Anuu, Abhi, Siva, CG, inmates of N413, N405, N124, N227, n211, "Z" section and Bioengineering classmates, other acquaintances, friends, friends of friends, juniors and all those who are undergoing similar feelings. I am glad and grateful to have known you. You will forever remain an integral part of my life.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
My "Intuition" says that...
Many a times, we hear people say that they have a strong feeling about some happening. Some choose to call it intuition, some call it a hunch. We choose to call it by different synonyms. Some even loosely associate that word when they suspect anything. Books on psychology say a woman's intution is strong. Commonly used word.. but what does it really mean?
When we encounter certain situations, we experience an instinctive feeling regarding it. We simply condemn a task because something tells us that there is an underlying peril. We do something, because something tells us that it is the right thing to do. When we look at a person, we feel that this is what would befall them. What is this something.. that forewarns us or instructs us to do something? Our mind is divided into three: Conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind. It is a known fact that one can find answer to any question, if he/she can probe his unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind knows it all. In some circumstances, the gap between the unconscious and conscious is bridged. This is why we know for certain about the immediate happening. In psychology, they call it adaptive unconsciousness.. in layman terms, we call it "Intuition". As to why the gap is bridged at that moment is still a mystery for most people.
One can ascertain that when he/she has such an instinctive feeling, they are right to feel so and follow it. One may not know to reason out his/her action... but it would turn out to bethe best thing to do at that moment. The problem lies only in differentiating our intuition with our ego. Now, that is a mammoth task.
(PS: This opinion of mine is based on inspiration from my confidant, who has an innate talent for psychological analysis, and my own little observations. If you have any objections or much more to add to this, you may do so).
When we encounter certain situations, we experience an instinctive feeling regarding it. We simply condemn a task because something tells us that there is an underlying peril. We do something, because something tells us that it is the right thing to do. When we look at a person, we feel that this is what would befall them. What is this something.. that forewarns us or instructs us to do something? Our mind is divided into three: Conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind. It is a known fact that one can find answer to any question, if he/she can probe his unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind knows it all. In some circumstances, the gap between the unconscious and conscious is bridged. This is why we know for certain about the immediate happening. In psychology, they call it adaptive unconsciousness.. in layman terms, we call it "Intuition". As to why the gap is bridged at that moment is still a mystery for most people.
One can ascertain that when he/she has such an instinctive feeling, they are right to feel so and follow it. One may not know to reason out his/her action... but it would turn out to bethe best thing to do at that moment. The problem lies only in differentiating our intuition with our ego. Now, that is a mammoth task.
(PS: This opinion of mine is based on inspiration from my confidant, who has an innate talent for psychological analysis, and my own little observations. If you have any objections or much more to add to this, you may do so).
Maa.. Tujhe Salaam... :)
Hi readers and followers.. Thanks a lot for the enthusiasm and support extended for my blog. One common comment that I got invariably from all was that my langauge was good and I had a flair for writing. Thanks a million for that comment. I am posting this to turn the spot light to the person responsible for my inclination and liking towards English language. I dedicate this post to you .. Ammaaa...
I was born with a knack for listening to stories. All thanks to my mom.. She used to read to me while I was inside her womb. When I came out into this "funny" world, she still read to me from books and comics. Asterix, Tintin, Lady and Tramp, some story about a glow granny bug (which I pronounced as "gonganny bug") were my personal favourites. Later when I could speak, I used to bug her more to recite these stories to me. I wanted stories during any and everytime of the day. Relentlessly and bearing my constant badgering, she still recited stories over and over. She taught me how to read.. my first inspiration. All thanks to her, I already knew to read and write before joining School itself. Later, the bugger (me) learnt to read by herself. This spark ignited in me by my Mother, lead me to become a voracious reader in due course of time. This was further fuelled by my close gang of friends and dearest brother who pestered me to put my thoughts into writing.
I express my gratitude to these people through this post, for their never ending pestering and ever growing love and support.
I was born with a knack for listening to stories. All thanks to my mom.. She used to read to me while I was inside her womb. When I came out into this "funny" world, she still read to me from books and comics. Asterix, Tintin, Lady and Tramp, some story about a glow granny bug (which I pronounced as "gonganny bug") were my personal favourites. Later when I could speak, I used to bug her more to recite these stories to me. I wanted stories during any and everytime of the day. Relentlessly and bearing my constant badgering, she still recited stories over and over. She taught me how to read.. my first inspiration. All thanks to her, I already knew to read and write before joining School itself. Later, the bugger (me) learnt to read by herself. This spark ignited in me by my Mother, lead me to become a voracious reader in due course of time. This was further fuelled by my close gang of friends and dearest brother who pestered me to put my thoughts into writing.
I express my gratitude to these people through this post, for their never ending pestering and ever growing love and support.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The best days of my life - Part 2
December 26,2004: The disaster day. For me, it was just another day until I came down from my room to the meditation hall for my yoga classes. There was too much crying from my batch mates, and frantic phone calls. When I enquired, they said a tsunami had hit Tamil Nadu, and the waves had reached almost a kilometer from the beach. My batch mates' parents were calling to enquire whether we experienced the quake and reassure that they were fine. I waited for my parents to call too. Time passed but, but there was no phone call for me. I was getting more anxious and paranoid. Thoughts clogged my mind.. "Why have they not called yet... my home is just 1.5kms away from the beach.. I hope.. Oh my God!!.. God.. I just plead and pray that everyone at home are fine...". A tear escaped my eye. No.. Nothing would have gone wrong. The little angels, understanding what I was going through sat down next to me, held my hand and prayed that things should be fine back home. I got distracted and drawn to that wondrous happening. These kids did not even know who their parents were, and there they were, praying fervently for me!
I went on a 7km cancer awareness rally into the village. I sneaked out of the line when I spotted a PCO and made a quick call to home. The moment I heard my dad's voice, I was so relieved and hit by a wave of happiness and Love. My voice broke.. Suddenly, I wanted to tell them how much I loved them. Instead, all I could manage was, "I want to see you immediately.. Come here tomorrow". (My parents had called to my guide's mobile. She had forgotten to inform me.. Will never forgive her for that!!) And, my parents came the consecutive day and spent some time in heaven.
The day of my returning back to home finally came. We bode farewell to those little angel and thanked them for the experience and the fun time we spent with them. Strange, isn't it? I had gone there for charity, service, to teach those kids, entertain them...Bah.. If I may say, Bull shit!! What had I taught them? Did I ever entertain them? Wait a minute! I was one of the best at school, but what did I have to offer them? What an otiose being? Those little angels had taught me a lot, they have shaped me into, I must say, a real human being. They taught me how to look at Life in the right perspective. They taught me what real problems and trouble were. They taught me how to walk my path, to tackle obstacles, and most of all, to Love and Live. All that money we collected, all those material things we donated, all the activities we did are no match to what they had to offer us.
For all those people who stay at home and throw away useless money in the name of charity... Here is what I have to say, they are the blessed ones. Charity and altruism that we are familiar with, is a farce. If there is anything that you want to do for these children, go spend time with them. They do not want to be loved, they have loads of it. The world may have turned its face away from these destitute children, but God has not. If you think you can give love to those angels, you are wrong. These angels, gospels of Love, would shower you with real affection, Love that you would otherwise never experience in Life.
December 31,2004: I returned home with all this experience, bearing all their Love in my heart. Ah, Home, sweet home. Till date, and for all days to come, if ever misery should befall me, I would think of those little angels, and my ten day stay in Heaven. I laid there on my bed, staring at the ceiling, awaiting the break of a new dawn, a New year, and a refined Me...
I went on a 7km cancer awareness rally into the village. I sneaked out of the line when I spotted a PCO and made a quick call to home. The moment I heard my dad's voice, I was so relieved and hit by a wave of happiness and Love. My voice broke.. Suddenly, I wanted to tell them how much I loved them. Instead, all I could manage was, "I want to see you immediately.. Come here tomorrow". (My parents had called to my guide's mobile. She had forgotten to inform me.. Will never forgive her for that!!) And, my parents came the consecutive day and spent some time in heaven.
The day of my returning back to home finally came. We bode farewell to those little angel and thanked them for the experience and the fun time we spent with them. Strange, isn't it? I had gone there for charity, service, to teach those kids, entertain them...Bah.. If I may say, Bull shit!! What had I taught them? Did I ever entertain them? Wait a minute! I was one of the best at school, but what did I have to offer them? What an otiose being? Those little angels had taught me a lot, they have shaped me into, I must say, a real human being. They taught me how to look at Life in the right perspective. They taught me what real problems and trouble were. They taught me how to walk my path, to tackle obstacles, and most of all, to Love and Live. All that money we collected, all those material things we donated, all the activities we did are no match to what they had to offer us.
For all those people who stay at home and throw away useless money in the name of charity... Here is what I have to say, they are the blessed ones. Charity and altruism that we are familiar with, is a farce. If there is anything that you want to do for these children, go spend time with them. They do not want to be loved, they have loads of it. The world may have turned its face away from these destitute children, but God has not. If you think you can give love to those angels, you are wrong. These angels, gospels of Love, would shower you with real affection, Love that you would otherwise never experience in Life.
December 31,2004: I returned home with all this experience, bearing all their Love in my heart. Ah, Home, sweet home. Till date, and for all days to come, if ever misery should befall me, I would think of those little angels, and my ten day stay in Heaven. I laid there on my bed, staring at the ceiling, awaiting the break of a new dawn, a New year, and a refined Me...
The best days of my life - Part 1
The best days of my life - Part 1
The six best things that I cherish in my Life are Love, litle kids, learning, relationships, language and arts. Happiness has been an integral part of my life. The first child at home, I was born and brought up like a princess. Pampered and spoilt brat are two terms which could be easily associated with me. Right from the start of the day, the only activities I ws concerned with was my own personal hygiene, playing and sleeping. I had to depend on my mom, dad and even my younger cousins for feeding me in the morning, combing my hair and all. I was entirely oblivious to the happenings at home. Life was blissful; so I thought.
During my 11th grade, I got an opportunity to attend a camp, conducted by National Service Scheme (NSS). Ten students were selected to attend the camp. We were to go to an orphanage in a remote area, by name Sevalaya. That was my first venture away from home. I was all excited about the whole tour. Little did I know the hardships that were involved in it. "D- Day" came and we were taken to the orphanage. The moment we got down we were welcomed by a lot of kids. The best moments of my life started from then. December 22, 2004- December 31, 2004,I can say was the turning point in my life.
Right from the youngest, who was just 3 years old, to the oldest (who was just 12 years old), I had wads to learn from them. An otherwise late riser, I got up punctually at 5 in the morning and took yoga classes. For a person who is not accustomed to daily chores, washing clothes was the first obstacle. When I took out bucket to the washing area, there were tiny tots washing their clothes too. I was hit by a wave of ignominy. At the age of 15, I could not take care of myself. I sat there to observe those kids and followed suit!!! That was how ignorant I was. The second task for the day was tree plantation. Being the tough and hyper type I was, I wanted to do this one well. I took all the garden equipments and chose a place to dig. I chose that place, because there were no plants in that particular patch. I took the long rod and shovel and began to dig a hole. The process was sternous and it took me 25 odd minutes to make a hole big enough to plant the sapling. The soil was dry and full o frocks, making the process more tedious. I put the sapling inside and filled the hole. There! I had planted a sapling. I was so proud of myself and beaming with joy. There was this kid who was watching the whole fiasco through her sparkling eyes. I walked to her and gave her a pat on her cheek. She asked me,"Akka, Why have you planted the sapling there? The soil is too dry and does not support plant growth. Only thorny shrubs and weeds grow here". Strike two. The head strong git, who was so obsessed with her logically reasoning mind, had her first blow. I was so engrossed in proving a point and doing things right that I overlooked the state of the soil and the vegetation it supported. That was the first time that my Big Ego crashed to the ground. Later, that little angel showed me another place, and also showed me how to plant trees. Speechless and thwarted, I learnt the art of gardening from her. And to think that she was not even as tall as the rod, let alone the shovel!!
Assignment three was to help out the people at the old age home. I have this knack of winning people over with my mannerisms, talking style and humor. After a few hours there, I felt a pang in my heart. After bearing a lot of hurt, disappointment and betrayal from their own children and family, they still had tons of affection to shower on me. What was I in front of that unconditional love? A phony jabbering hollow words.. Within a couple of days, they made me realize the true meaning of Love. I learnt how to conquer hearts with Love, and better, learnt what Love was and how true Love would feel. Hit by waves of realization, I returned back to the orphanage (I would prefer calling it heaven from now on) after a tiny cricket match. I sat down to play with the children and interact with them. I was keeping them engrossed and amused with little stories, until I saw a girl with burn injuries all over her body. I could not suppress my curiosity and shamelessly asked her how such a fate befell her. That eight year girl, keeping all her emotions under control, narrated how her mother attempted a suicide and she, out of sheer helplessness and an urge to save her mother, went and hugged her to stop the flames from eating through her mom!! This big a tragedy and not the slightest falter in her voice. Her mom was long gone. Enough for the day!! I ran into the bathroom, opened all the taps,knelt on the floor and cried out loud. The whole learning process was too taxing for me. I was hit by turmoil of emotions. I felt disgusted with myself. God had given me everything and yet how I cribbed and complained about trivial issues. What ruckus I used to create. My life was perfect, but what value did I have for it? What justice have I done with it? I decided to take a break, and reconsider a lot of things in life, right a lot of wrongs. I went to the balcony and sat on the wall, gazing at the trees beyond, lost in thoughts.
When I came back to my senses, I realized that it was too dark and midst of the night. And i am afraid of the dark! what the hell? How do I walk back to my room now? I then steadied myself,looked around me and thought to myself,"What was there to get afraid of the dark. Look at this place. You are in heaven..and there are almost 50 little angels sleeping peacefully". I decided to take a stroll around the place, and felt tranquility. At that moment, I was trying to recollect what was that that made me feel so scared of the dark. And the entire notion seemed so ludicrous. I felt silly for being frightened all these years. Exhausted by the days' work and drained off due to my own conflict with emotions and myself, I retired to sleep.
I don't know if one would believe that people could turn into a new leaf overnight, but I had this light feeling in the morning. I had slept late, but felt so full of energy and eager to start off the day. I met the great founder of that place, and he narrated how a tiny poem of the great revolutionary Tamil poet,Bharathiar, had led him to tart this heaven. Life went on and every second was a learning experience for me. I am almost 21, stay in a hostel now, and its been almost four years since I moved out of home. I still feel lorn of being at home and speak to all for over an hour a day. During those ten days, I hardly once felt the urge to call my parents. This was not because I did not care, but I did not feel like a fish out of the pond.
The six best things that I cherish in my Life are Love, litle kids, learning, relationships, language and arts. Happiness has been an integral part of my life. The first child at home, I was born and brought up like a princess. Pampered and spoilt brat are two terms which could be easily associated with me. Right from the start of the day, the only activities I ws concerned with was my own personal hygiene, playing and sleeping. I had to depend on my mom, dad and even my younger cousins for feeding me in the morning, combing my hair and all. I was entirely oblivious to the happenings at home. Life was blissful; so I thought.
During my 11th grade, I got an opportunity to attend a camp, conducted by National Service Scheme (NSS). Ten students were selected to attend the camp. We were to go to an orphanage in a remote area, by name Sevalaya. That was my first venture away from home. I was all excited about the whole tour. Little did I know the hardships that were involved in it. "D- Day" came and we were taken to the orphanage. The moment we got down we were welcomed by a lot of kids. The best moments of my life started from then. December 22, 2004- December 31, 2004,I can say was the turning point in my life.
Right from the youngest, who was just 3 years old, to the oldest (who was just 12 years old), I had wads to learn from them. An otherwise late riser, I got up punctually at 5 in the morning and took yoga classes. For a person who is not accustomed to daily chores, washing clothes was the first obstacle. When I took out bucket to the washing area, there were tiny tots washing their clothes too. I was hit by a wave of ignominy. At the age of 15, I could not take care of myself. I sat there to observe those kids and followed suit!!! That was how ignorant I was. The second task for the day was tree plantation. Being the tough and hyper type I was, I wanted to do this one well. I took all the garden equipments and chose a place to dig. I chose that place, because there were no plants in that particular patch. I took the long rod and shovel and began to dig a hole. The process was sternous and it took me 25 odd minutes to make a hole big enough to plant the sapling. The soil was dry and full o frocks, making the process more tedious. I put the sapling inside and filled the hole. There! I had planted a sapling. I was so proud of myself and beaming with joy. There was this kid who was watching the whole fiasco through her sparkling eyes. I walked to her and gave her a pat on her cheek. She asked me,"Akka, Why have you planted the sapling there? The soil is too dry and does not support plant growth. Only thorny shrubs and weeds grow here". Strike two. The head strong git, who was so obsessed with her logically reasoning mind, had her first blow. I was so engrossed in proving a point and doing things right that I overlooked the state of the soil and the vegetation it supported. That was the first time that my Big Ego crashed to the ground. Later, that little angel showed me another place, and also showed me how to plant trees. Speechless and thwarted, I learnt the art of gardening from her. And to think that she was not even as tall as the rod, let alone the shovel!!
Assignment three was to help out the people at the old age home. I have this knack of winning people over with my mannerisms, talking style and humor. After a few hours there, I felt a pang in my heart. After bearing a lot of hurt, disappointment and betrayal from their own children and family, they still had tons of affection to shower on me. What was I in front of that unconditional love? A phony jabbering hollow words.. Within a couple of days, they made me realize the true meaning of Love. I learnt how to conquer hearts with Love, and better, learnt what Love was and how true Love would feel. Hit by waves of realization, I returned back to the orphanage (I would prefer calling it heaven from now on) after a tiny cricket match. I sat down to play with the children and interact with them. I was keeping them engrossed and amused with little stories, until I saw a girl with burn injuries all over her body. I could not suppress my curiosity and shamelessly asked her how such a fate befell her. That eight year girl, keeping all her emotions under control, narrated how her mother attempted a suicide and she, out of sheer helplessness and an urge to save her mother, went and hugged her to stop the flames from eating through her mom!! This big a tragedy and not the slightest falter in her voice. Her mom was long gone. Enough for the day!! I ran into the bathroom, opened all the taps,knelt on the floor and cried out loud. The whole learning process was too taxing for me. I was hit by turmoil of emotions. I felt disgusted with myself. God had given me everything and yet how I cribbed and complained about trivial issues. What ruckus I used to create. My life was perfect, but what value did I have for it? What justice have I done with it? I decided to take a break, and reconsider a lot of things in life, right a lot of wrongs. I went to the balcony and sat on the wall, gazing at the trees beyond, lost in thoughts.
When I came back to my senses, I realized that it was too dark and midst of the night. And i am afraid of the dark! what the hell? How do I walk back to my room now? I then steadied myself,looked around me and thought to myself,"What was there to get afraid of the dark. Look at this place. You are in heaven..and there are almost 50 little angels sleeping peacefully". I decided to take a stroll around the place, and felt tranquility. At that moment, I was trying to recollect what was that that made me feel so scared of the dark. And the entire notion seemed so ludicrous. I felt silly for being frightened all these years. Exhausted by the days' work and drained off due to my own conflict with emotions and myself, I retired to sleep.
I don't know if one would believe that people could turn into a new leaf overnight, but I had this light feeling in the morning. I had slept late, but felt so full of energy and eager to start off the day. I met the great founder of that place, and he narrated how a tiny poem of the great revolutionary Tamil poet,Bharathiar, had led him to tart this heaven. Life went on and every second was a learning experience for me. I am almost 21, stay in a hostel now, and its been almost four years since I moved out of home. I still feel lorn of being at home and speak to all for over an hour a day. During those ten days, I hardly once felt the urge to call my parents. This was not because I did not care, but I did not feel like a fish out of the pond.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Greetings to all and a hearty welcome to my blog
I have had an aversion to writing right from my childhood. Ironically enough, I have a flair for writing and immense love for English language. I have ,throughout my life, ignored my inherent potencies. I did not want to let my elan for writing die out too. I sat down to write a poem, but my words were too strong and language too serious for poetry. I tried writing a novel, and lost interest in due course of time. I realized it was not mere stories or my creativity that I needed to share with the world, but excerpts from my life itself.
I resort to blogging now to keep my zest for writing alive and to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Let me show you the world, as I perceive it. ;)
I resort to blogging now to keep my zest for writing alive and to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Let me show you the world, as I perceive it. ;)
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